The Special Gift of Ispiration

Inspiration

What or who inspires you? To start, this is what I mean when I ask that question.
For now, let us work with the definition of inspiration as the a particularly wonderful flow of energy that comes about and moves through us when we are in tune with a level of our selves that is above and beyond our ‘normal’, ‘everyday’ selves. It is the energy that we ignite when we are tuned into our higher selves.

I hope that each and every one of us can relate to a time in our own lives when we experienced this ‘higher level’ of energy; a flow of a force or drive that, for a lack of other ways to describe it, put goose bumps on our insides and gives us a tingly type of feeling from the inside out.

When I am inspired, I function on a different plane or level that I am not always able to replicate or unfortunately hold onto for very extended periods of time. It is a wonderful feeling, exhilarating and exciting and sort of like a bubbling inside, that keeps me writing faster, moving faster, thinking faster and most significantly, bursting with creativity.

Some of the things that tend to inspire me most are:
• Music – I even have certain songs or tunes or artists that inspire me most at specific times
• Writing – There are times when I start out without feeling inspired, but as I continue writing, I begin to become inspired by the actual experience of creating
• Accomplishing Something Challenging – Whenever I try something I think might be difficult for me or new and achieve it successfully
• Personal Stories – Learning about obstacles and personal victories of others

INSPIRE

I want to post some of the most inspiring stories that I find about people who are doing things in their lives that inspire other people – that accomplish things or face challenges that can help others want to do more and be more in their own lives too.

And, I can’t think of a better time to do it than toward the beginning of the time when many of us may have already stared the reality of our own humanity in the face because we’re almost two weeks into the 2014 and most likely, have already experienced some type of feelings of not being ‘good enough’ or having failed at our attempt to achieve a goal.

It seems to me that people who provide inspiration to others achieve something quite amazing because it is like providing a sense of immortality to their accomplishment. In essence, what they have done is breath new life and energy into another person so they now can do something else that inspires someone else. They have fulfilled an extremely wonderful calling, by sharing more than their accomplishments, they also share the energy and the ‘spiritual’ component that exists only through the inspiration they stirred.

Planting A Garden
Photo by Samantha Appleton

It is like planting a garden full of new potential and possibility for what might be. It is hopeful, joyful and a gift beyond words!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Judy is a licensed clinical social worker and has worked extensively as a counselor with children, adolescents, couples and families. Judy’s professional experience in the mental health field along with her love of writing, provide insight into real-life experiences and relationships. Her fresh voice and down-to-earth approach to living a happier, more meaningful life are easy to understand and just as easy to start implementing right away for positive results!

The examined life

My New Year has been punctuated by some wonderful reads.  My most recent literary exploration has taken me to  The Examined Life, written by the estimable Stephen Grosz.

Above from Amazon

It is as compelling as it is powerful. This books provides a truly wonderful insight into the human condition, which is all the more illuminated by Grosz’s accounts of the human experience through those he has a privilege to care for in analysis. And this care, this bond between analyst and patient, shines forth from each and every page.

As I finished the book and flopped back onto my comfy sofa, my mind whirring as it started to mentally walk through each of the cases Grosz shared, and as I pondered what it would be like to to be a psychoanalyst from Grosz’s description of the work, I picked up my pen and started to write.

This is what I wrote:

“It seems to me like psychoanalysis helps (in a similar way to CBT – Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) each patient to develop a form of self-awareness of their situation and, thus, empowers them to actualise some kind of catharsis (a means of processing or providing relief from strong or repressed emotions) through this knowledge.

From the many accounts Grosz gives, it looks like this catharsis is predominantly achieved through Grosz’s patients wanting to know they were not alone. They wanted someone to listen to them, and therefore demonstrate that they were worth being listened to. They are valuable and worthy of time and consideration.

For others, providing an explanation for their actions, providing them with words to account for their experience brings clarity from confusion, and again, enables them to clear the mental haze and see the road ahead, and the various routes open to them to embark upon.

This kind of piercing insight, analysis, is invaluable.

Much like slipping into a hot bath, it strips us of our shivering fears, isolation and anxieties and soothes our very beings as we are enveloped with with caring, careful clarity – a way of making sense of our dis-order, which too, is why interpreting dreams is such a powerful catharsis. However, whilst understanding the mechanisms behind each dream by placing the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle together brings relief, all this really grants us is what we already knew. For Grosz, it was the fear of losing his son. I admit, there is great beauty in ordering and understanding our dreams, but as Grosz himself allows by sharing the sad case of one AIDS patient who acted upon Grosz’s insights by going on holiday (where he died from dysentery, rather than receiving the medication he needed), Grosz’s attempts to help this patient understand his situation, could not change the situation itself. It leads me to think something more is needed…

As Grosz notes the incident of an eminent American psychoanalyst (Ap) questioning him as to why he bothered helping another AIDS patient (Anthony) who could “expect to live for two years and hope to live for four” (p.199), the Ap asks, “Why are you wasting your time on this patient? He’s going to die. Why not help someone who’s got a future?” (p.201)

It strikes me that if what Grosz writes elsewhere in the book is true, namely that

“The future is not some place we are going to, but an idea in our mind now. It is something we’re creating, that in turn creates us. The future is a fantasy that shapes our present” (p.157)

then, Anthony’s future is his present.

Grosz describes how this penetrating question felt cruel to him. After all, what was clear to them both was that analysis had helped Anthony to overcome his anxiety and depression (p.203). The reason, I wonder, Grosz found this challenge cruel was because his engagements with Anthony were meaningful. Not only was there purpose to the analysis, but it was yielding personal results in Anthony, even if these personal results did not change the ultimate outcome of his imminent death.

As I read on, I could not help but smile with joy when Grosz informs his audience that Anthony, twenty two years later, is in good health. It feels like an overwhelming victory. Not only was there evident contemporaneous meaning to Grosz’s meetings with Anthony, but, there is now ongoing life, too.

As joyful as this is, it does not really make up for “death’s finality” (p.210), which will ultimately visit Anthony. Perhaps I have oversimplified things, but it leads me to think something more is needed…”

The Examined Life by Stephen Grosz really is one of those rare penetrating reads, which will not only help you to understand others, but quite dramatically, yourself. I thoroughly recommend it!

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Languages of love

26DEC20132 Comments

by kajoemanis in random thoughts Tags: love, opinion, thought, writing

When you love someone, in terms of romantic relationship, you tend to focus everything on him. You learn what he likes and dislikes, his hobbies, strengths and weaknesses, moods, insecurities, and… verbal and non-verbal languages. You push and pull, adapt, have breakdowns, but you refuse to give up because you want to have a deep meaningful connection. Why? For a deep meaningful connection provides us security and safety, both physically and mentally.

Basically, it doesn’t only apply to your beloved one. This also applies to those we deal with in our lives on daily basis. They can be your co-workers, acquaintances, neighbors, good friends, siblings, parents and/or children. We do this because we tend to seek a deeper connection with others, albeit it gives us complexities of life. We like to make something meaningful because then it will make us have meaning to others. And on the top of all, it’s simply because we’re humans.

And language is the bridge to connect all relations humans can possibly create and it’s more than something that has linguistic features with structure and sound conveying ideas, meaning and emotion. I’m referring to the non-verbal language that can make others feel loved and secured and later confident about themselves: the language of love.

There’s a good reference about this particular language. It’s entitled The Five Love Languages and written by Dr. Gary Chapman. To sum up, everyone has their own love languages. He divides the love languages into 5 types:

–          Words affirmation: they need to hear that they’re wonderful, awesome, beautiful. And if they make something for you, say cooking, they need to hear from you that their cooking is delicious. A simply comment such as ‘yummy!’ can make them happy. And of course a thank you. It will build their self-image and confidence.

–          Quality time: they need to spend some intimate moments by doing things together with their loved ones. If they like gardening, they need you to be there doing it with you happily. If they like hiking, they wish you to participate actively in it. Doing things together and focusing on one another in given special time even though it’s only short but consistently is what they see as a way to show their love.

–          Giving presents: they believe that giving presents to their loved ones is a language of love. They will remember your birthday, anniversary and other special dates because they think these dates are important to you. If you forget theirs or you do remember but you don’t give presents, they will feel neglected and unloved.

–          Acts of service: doing little things in house for your loved ones, such as helping them with dishes, cleaning and dusting are viewed as acts of love. Imagine if they’re busy doing the house chores alone but you’re just sitting there reading or watching TV. They will feel so much unloved and you’re being indifferent.

–          Physical touch: They like holding hands, touching your hair, cuddling and even dancing with you. When their partner can be reciprocal speaking this language, they will feel loved and special.

Everyone may speak the same language(s) with their partners or totally different, mostly due to their own background such how they’re raised. Yes, we can’t ignore this important issue because that’s when they learnt their first love languages (a bit of it or not at all). Further, things will collide when people use different language(s) but refuse to learn their partner’s language(s). Imagine if you have the physical touch language but your partner didn’t learn it when s/he was little and so s/he never realizes that it is important to you. On the other hand, picture if your partner ‘speaks’ quality time language, but you’re too busy with your gadgets and works even when you’re at home rather than spending some hours together after a long day. Analogously, when one wants to communicate with someone who speaks a different native language, s/he will do any efforts to use a language that the other can understands, instead of insisting to use his or her own language, or s/he won’t get there. When the connection gets deeper, s/he will learn to speak the other’s native language to understand him or her more for the more you understand, the more things will get easier, the connection gets deeper and the bonding gets tighter. It will make us secure the insecurities and feel safe physically and mentally. For the sake of it, we will do that in any level of relations: business, friendship and even romance.

As for me, apparently I speak at least four languages. The one language that has less importance –  not that I don’t think it’s necessary – to me is acts of service simply because of the way I was raised. I never saw my dad there to help my mom with house chores and my mom would whining whole days 24/7 because of tiresome (well, 5 children and doing the house chores alone, it’s automatically understandable). But this language can be replaced with another one: quality time. And I think it’s more valuable and powerful when doing house chores together because you want to have quality time with your partner, than simply as an act of service.

I personally think it is nice to have someone who understands your language(s). I believe, it feels wonderful and comfortable. You will also feel so much loved and understood without having to be mentally exhausted when relating to others – despite of all possible breakdowns. It will weigh you down when your partner enjoys your company and feels comfortable with you because you understand his or her languages but they don’t strive to use your languages in return. No matter what, we have to admit that everything tends to be reciprocal in general. And when loving someone becomes a noble idea (you give more than take), we must question ourselves how far we are willing to learn and ‘speak’ our loved ones’ language(s) for it will take a lot of efforts, energy and time. Yet, before coming down to the answer, you must love yourself and find the clues of this followingquestion for yourself:

What is your love language(s)?

Happy hour

Every day someone lives in pain. Sometimes it is physical torment, and sometimes it`s mental agony. A memo

Our blog tries to cover varied topics, but the underlying theme is that we want to inspire and give people hope. One of our goals is to do our part to make the world a better place, and maybe somebody else will want to do the same? We see people around us everywhere, and we don`t always know their stories. 

Today was a good day for the blog. Some weeks ago, I ordered business cards, small post-cards and a cup, and today it finally arrived. I was very happy with the result, especially the business-cards that look gorgeous. What do you think? If readers of this blog would like to help me with distributing them, feel free to send me some contact information, so I can mail some business-cards you can give to people you know, or even complete strangers (thereby also getting extra stars in the «kindness project».

If you don`t want to do that, it`s perfectly fine.

I hope our readers like what we`ve produced so far. If not, we really love concrete feedback on how we can make the blog even better. We can only deliver high-quality content if readers tell us what could be better.

I want to thank all the readers, contributors and people who`ve been involved so far. Without you I would be nothing.

Nina, psychologist

Blog-cup

Front-side of card

Back-side of card

Validation: You can change things

Still not giving in | Free psychology (Edit)

The Validation Project | Free psychology (Edit)

Facebook: Pay it forward group. Meet and connect with others!

App Of The Week: CardMunch (stevenblaser.wordpress.com)

Power of Animal Therapy

I believe in animal therapy.

I know how much a dog can brighten the worst day in my own life.

And this is an amazing story my friend told me about a man she knew who was a donkey owner:

This man took his pet miniature donkey to a nursing home regularly. He trusted the donkey because he knew it would never bite anyone with its calm temperament.

One day the donkey ran away from the man while he was at the nursing home. He was mortified; the donkey had never done anything like this before. He was frantically searching the building for the donkey.

And then he found the donkey down corridors and through a door into a room with an elderly man. The man was in tears, and the donkey owner thought the donkey had bitten him. But the donkey had its head resting on the elderly man’s lap and the man was just sobbing.

The man told the donkey owner that he’d been a donkey handler while overseas during a war. The man felt lonely and isolated in the nursing home ever since the war, but this donkey came to him and simply rested its head on the man’s lap and stayed there as if to comfort the man.

The man was given what he needed. He missed being with donkeys. He was comforted, and the donkey made him not feel alone anymore.

The donkey owner was gobsmacked. The donkey set off straight to this man’s room with such purpose and ran through corridors and different areas of the building to get to him.

I think it’s amazing. Animals amaze me. I know dogs can be very in tune with people’s feelings and know when people are sad.

I love animals so much, and this story just makes them love them more!

Do you open or close your eyes ?

We all know the importance of balance, but we struggle with achieving it. One  challenge connected to harmony and balance, is parenting. There are thousands ways to be a good mother or father, but in general the same rule applies to parenting as many things in life: Neither too much or too little.

I found a really interesting article on the subject, that I had to share since we have to open our eyes to the peril of “curling-parenting”; Where you remove every obstacle so that children don`t learn and become competent and empathic. In other words: Children who never met resistance, don`t develop emotion regulation skills necessary for surviving today.

Some have said we are creating a society of narcissist, which reminds me of a quote from a Norwegian therapist:

“We`re a society of people who want to be seen, and none left to see.”

By JILL CEDER, MSW, JD

As a new mom and a recent MSW graduate, I can’t help but analyze, question, and sometimes fear the ways in which my parenting choices will affect my son.

During the few months I was home with my baby, I joined a moms group. Now that the babies are three or four months old, the conversations sound like “my baby will not sleep in the crib,” “my baby wakes up every three hours,” “my baby needs to be held all day.”

From a recommendation, I readBringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting when I was pregnant. The 2012 book is written by Pamela Druckerman, an American mom raising her baby in Paris.

At first glance, I thought the book was a witty tongue-in-cheek story about neurotic Americans and cool Parisians. On second glance (and a second reading after I birthed the child), I realized this book unlocked the secrets of raising a happy, resilient adult.

Ms. Druckerman charmingly explains the many ways in which French children differ from American children. On the surface, it appears that American children are less patient, less polite and throw more tantrums. American parents may think it’s cute and innocent; their kids will grow out of it. And it is true, the child may eventually stop the behavior, but the coping skills (or lack of) have been firmly set in stone.

I do not believe Druckerman was writing a book on human development, but to a social worker, it seems her observations directly relate to why so many American adults seek therapy. Therapists’ offices are filled with adults who suffer from anxiety,depression, anger management issues, eating disorders or marital problems. Any psychoanalyst would tell you that many of these issues are deeply rooted in childhood.

American parents seem overly worried that if their child hears “no” they will become angry and experience frustration and disappointment. On the contrary, the French believe that “no” saves children from the tyranny of their own desires. Caroline

Thompson, a family psychologist in Paris whom Druckerman interviewed, stated what seems to be the overall view in France: “making kids face up to limitations and deal with frustration turns them into happier, more resilient people.” Isn’t that what every parent wants for their child?

“French parents don’t worry that they’re going to damage their kids by frustrating them. To the contrary, they think their kids will be damaged if they can’t cope with frustration. They also treat coping with frustration as a core life skill. Their kids simply have to learn it. The parents would be remiss if they didn’t teach it.”

Druckerman interviewed pediatrician and founder of Tribeca Pediatrics, Michel Cohen, a French doctor practicing in New York City. “My first intervention is to say, when your baby is born, just don’t jump on your kid at night,” Cohen says.

“Give your baby a chance to self-soothe, don’t automatically respond, even from birth.” “Le pause,” as Druckerman coins it, is one of the main ways to gently induce frustration. The French believe “le pause” can start as early as two to three weeks old.

 Although “le pause” may sound like tough love for a infant, most American parents end up surrendering to the “cry it out” method at three to four months because their baby never learned to self-soothe. “Le pause” worked for me, although I did not consciously subscribe to this method. I think it was a combination of sleep deprivation and C-section recovery that created “le pause,” but it worked! “Le pause” creates babies who are content to snuggle alone in their cribs, babies who at a very young age learn to soothe themselves.

And hopefully “le pause” creates adults who can cope with frustration, a skill that is extremely useful and necessary for success in work and relationships and dealing with the overall stressors of everyday life.

Norwegian links:

Psykopatiserie del 8 – Samfunnsmagasinet

SUPERMARIE – – Vi ser ikke ut lenger, vi ser kun oss selv – Side2

Livsstrategi: Se og bli sett

English links:

• Should You Co-Sleep With Baby? Yes and No, Says Study (thebump.com)
• Unimaginably Hard, Inexpressibly Beautiful (megpoulinindeed.com)
• Pick a Parenting Style (silhouettetiquette.com)
• Why You Should Let Your Baby Be Frustrated (psychcentral.com)
• I Am French, Apparently (Or Not) (apocalypticprogeny.wordpress.com)

• Obama Goes Against the Grain of What America Represents – Forbes

• U.S. Trying to Catch-up in Early Childhood Learning (friendscenterforchildrenblog.org)

Abusers are only afraid of losing control, if you get up, they fall

I, like many others, have a burning desire to DO something for the world, and I try to do my part every day at work. The last couple of years I have also been reading many books about issues related to the world today, and watched documentaries and movies that also inspired me. After some time, excitement rose as I understood how ideas, psychology and internet have the potential to accomplish things we could not before. Some people say it`s too many bad things out there, we can`t do anything, anyway. I simply believe that is not true. Those words are uttered by bullies not affected by people starving and losing their jobs, as long as they can fly their jets, live in mansions and wear expensive suits.

From working with traumatized people, some of the most lovely persons I`ve ever met, and feeling the unfairness of people USING their kindness and warmth against them, making them feel bad and unworthy, when in reality the roles could have been reversed. Also reading about how psychopaths can climb to high positions in the society EXACTLY because they don`t fear stepping at toes (Watch the documentary I am Fishead for more on this) scares me even more. But, remembering that just 1 – 2 % of the populations truly have no conscious (still the number is so high that we all will encounter one of them quite often. The staggering number is still big when you think about how many people inhabit this planet. Some have even noticed that capitalism is as built for psychopaths, what do they care if Greece goes bankrupt as long as they get their cash and power?

All this made me realize: People trying to make the world worse, will always be a challenge, but they will NOT accomplish this if others protest. The internet makes this possible, and by spreading an attitude of compassion, we can work against this tendency. In his book, “Defense Against the Psychopath,” author Stefan Verstappen outlines the greatest and stealthiest danger in the human jungle. Leaders throughout history – the people we vote for – are rarely moral leaders. For them, lying is as easy and natural as breathing. It is completely unnerving and rattling to face the fact that someone can have absolutely no empathy. This realization is so frightening, most would rather go heavily into denial and fantasize that our helping them succeed is a good thing.

“Because of the tremendous destruction psychopaths reap on society, it is vital for everyone to be aware of their existence and to recognize their behavior traits. Understanding them is the first step to defending oneself against them.”

Peace one day want to make one day a year, a “peace day”, and what about a “kindness day” ? Philip Zimbardo, one of the greatest scientists, have introduced Heroic Imagination Project where he encourage people to take heroic act. Do you know that often it is enough that ONE person protest, for others to join in? In fact, they found that the Milgram Experiment of obedience (where you must deliver shock to others) the willingness to do what they “felt” was not right, went down if they “by coincidence” saw somebody else say no. This means: It helps to follow your heart, when something is not “quite right” even if authority tell you something else. Some do anyway, because they trust their gut-feeling enough to do what feels right, but most people look at what others do (cognitive heuristics) because it is easier.

So, if somebody else does kind things for others, would you not want to, also? If your best friend always smiled at strangers, would it not be easier for you also?

But you need energy, to be there for others. For that reason: Take care of your own needs first! Many feel egoistic if they do, but it`s actually the other way around. By not taking care of yourself, you neglect the energy and happiness necessary for giving others what they need. If an oxygen mask fall down, take your own mask first. Not because you don`t care about your children, but because then you are more able to help others, afterwards.

Read more:

http://www.5minutesformom.com/67453/world-kindness-day-be-kind-every-day/

Project: Kindness to a stranger

Capitalism: A System Run By and For Psychopaths

http://agranstrom.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/the-pros-to-being-a-psychopath

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/may/19/entertainment/la-et-book-20110519

Psychopaths run the world

http://peaceoneday.org/resources/

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/oct/07/wisdom-of-psychopaths-kevin-dutton-review

http://drawaphy.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/psychopaths/

Related articles

• Developers wanted for Peace Games scheme (develop-online.net)
• Treading the path to peace: London event explores ways of tackling conflict around world (standard.co.uk)
• Welcome to the Muslim Peace Day Project (meccastars.com)
• The Psychopathic Corporation – A Clinical Diagnosis (PCLR), by Dr. Robert Hare (humanchessdotorg.wordpress.com)
• The Psychopath Next Door (dont-tread-on.me)
• Fight for yourself (forfreepsychology.wordpress.com)
• Thoughts from a female psychopath (forfreepsychology.wordpress.com)
• How to spot disorder: Is your ego being inflated? (forfreepsychology.wordpress.com)
• How to protect yourself from a ‘successful’ psychopath (sott.net)

From the therapy session: Nr 1

This world is full of people who dedicate their lives to helping others. It is admirable, and even more so when they share their stories with us. We need the seeds of hope to grow, and inspirational posts like these is the water that let us reach the sun.

Enjoy

About the Author

My name is Eli and I’m a license social worker in clinical practice at a OMH facility in NY. I graduated with a Masters in Social Work in 2011. And I recently joined a psychoanalytic institute for further education and training.

 

————————————————————————————————————

“Sam!”

The voice broke the calm in the waiting-room. Sam looked up at the woman who had spoken. Her hair was long and blond and she wore a purple business suit with heels. Standing up, he met her at the doorway. She smiled as she stretched out her hand for him to shake and said, “My name’s Nicole and I’m going to be your therapist”. Sam shook her hand and smiled nervously.

Following her down the hall, he entered her office. Inside were two comfy pink chairs. A sign on the wall promoted relaxation and a round coffee table sat in the corner.

“Pick one” Nicole said still smiling, this time looking a bit nervous herself. Some of Sam’s unease settled at their shared nervousness.

“I’ll take this one” Sam said as he sat down. He held the arms of the chair as he sat down, trying not to fall back into the cushion. He didn’t want to get too comfortable, after all, he didn’t know if he could trust her. It was hard to tell after only three minutes.

“I’ll take the other couch. I don’t like sitting on the office chair. It creates this illusion that I am the expert with all the answers and you’re the patient. In reality all the answers are within you. The only thing I can do is help you explore them.”

He liked this concept and her words made him feel calm. She seemed genuine.
She moved the chair over to Sam’s and leaned back, crossing her legs. “So tell me, what brings you here? Tell me a little about yourself?”

Sam sat silently. He wasn’t sure if this was just an opening remark and then she would bombard him with questions or if she was sincerely interested in his background and difficulties. After a few seconds of silence Sam began, “Okay, it was six years ago when I lost it”. Sam paused. He looked up to see Nicole’s reaction. She was sitting straight with her hands on her knees. She looked sincere and attentive, waiting for Sam to continue. “I thought I was being poisoned” Sam paused again. He needed to see her facial expression. Does she think I’m crazy? Her concern seemed true which pleased Sam.

He took a deep breath and wanted to continue talking but a flash back interrupted his train of thought. He remembered what he felt when he thought everyone was going to annihilate and ostracize him. Forgetting where he was, he began reliving the fear. The old debate returned to his mind. Which was worse, death or being exiled? Moments later he concluded that annihilation would be worse. Living in loneliness is worse than death.

He sat there quietly, caught in his thoughts. Nicole didn’t want to interrupt him. But after five minutes of silence, she gave in. “That must have been so scary.”

Sam whipped his head back to her. He felt like he was suddenly being woken in the middle of a dream. His breath was shallow. Where was he? He felt himself reentering his own body. Taking a deep breath he oriented himself and composed his thoughts “Yeah, it was or is, scary.”
Sighing, he continued. “You see, my parents and wife are very religious.” Scrunching his face together, he could feel the pain behind his words, “and that’s what triggered it. I have been living a faithless life, pretending to be religious. Everything I did was make believe. I felt like I a heretic. Then I felt like I just couldn’t go on the way I was going. The world just felt unreal. I thought is this the only way to live? Was there a way out of the ghetto? Then there were times that I would hope that I could somehow force belief into me and rid myself of this atheistic gene. ”

Sam took a breath and Nicole took the opportunity to reflect. “So it sounds like you didn’t feel authentic. You were just going along with your parent’s dreams trying to fulfill their dreams and trying to forget about your own needs.”

“Yeah. I was so scared to share my feelings with my wife. I feared she would just leave me.”

“So you had nobody to share your true feelings with.”

“Exactly! I had so many existential questions and I felt religion was just stifling me. It was so predictable. But if I would voice my feelings, everybody would think I’d lost it. The questions were pressing me until I couldn’t handle it. I became paranoid and believed I was being poisoned. But really I was being poisoned emotionally.”

Looking at the clock, Nicole stood up, and stretched out her hand. “Our time is up. I think we should begin next week here.”

She shook Sam’s hand good bye, and opened the door to the hallway. “I hope to see you next week on Friday at Ten o’clock.”

“Great. Thanks so much!”

As Sam left, he thought this was the first time he’d honestly voiced his true feelings and they were heard.

http://wp.me/P3vAll-1

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• Inside the Therapy Session I (thinkingthoughtsdotorg.wordpress.com)

The possibility of the impossible

Have you experienced that something people thought was impossible, actually was achievable? Some think the impossible, is possible.

How one note can save your day