Category Archives: Psychopathy

A mad world A diagnosis of mental illness is more common than ever – did psychiatrists create the problem, or just recognise it?

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Unfortunate Events

When a psychiatrist meets people at a party and reveals what he or she does for a living, two responses are typical. People either say, ‘I’d better be careful what I say around you,’ and then clam up, or they say, ‘I could talk to you for hours,’ and then launch into a litany of complaints and diagnostic questions, usually about one or another family member, in-law, co-worker, or other acquaintance. It seems that people are quick to acknowledge the ubiquity of those who might benefit from a psychiatrist’s attention, while expressing a deep reluctance ever to seek it out themselves…

…While a continuous view of mental illness probably reflects underlying reality, it inevitably results in grey areas where ‘caseness’ (whether someone does or does not have a mental disorder) must be decided based on judgment calls made by experienced clinicians. In psychiatry, those calls usually depend on whether a patient’s complaints are associated with significant distress or impaired functioning. Unlike medical disorders where morbidity is often determined by physical limitations or the threat of impending death, the distress and disruption of social functioning associated with mental illness can be fairly subjective. Even those on the softer, less severe end of the mental illness spectrum can experience considerable suffering and impairment. For example, someone with mild depression might not be on the verge of suicide, but could really be struggling with work due to anxiety and poor concentration. Many people might experience sub-clinical conditions that fall short of the threshold for a mental disorder, but still might benefit from intervention.

See link for interesting article on psychiatry…and bits about the importance of psychotherapeutic intervention…

http://aeon.co/magazine/being-human/have-psychiatrists-lost-perspective-on-mental-illness/

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When Ignorance Begets Confidence

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“There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense.”  Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I begin with this quote to convey the feelings evoked in a recent exchange with a neighbor, one in which surprise (and some horror) was felt during the course of the conversation.  Logic and ‘reasonableness’ had little place in the interchange. I had just been reading a short article that looked at particular German words that gave expression to complex emotional states. An excerpt is as follows: 

“Fremdschämen describes embarrassment which is experienced in response to someone else’s actions, but it is markedly different from simply being embarrassed for someone else….Fremdscham (the noun) describes the almost-horror you feel when you notice that somebody is oblivious to how embarrassing they truly are.” Further…”Fremdscham-inducing events…usually cause one to ask this question: “how on earth can these people be unaware of how stupid they are being right now?”.

I invite you to read this short article on the cognitive bias created in the Dunning Kruger effect – an effect that causes one to be unaware of their performance – and their incompetence.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolved-primate/201006/when-ignorance-begets-confidence-the-classic-dunning-kruger-effect?fb_action_ids=10202209567024712&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%2210202209567024712%22%3A483617186047%7D&action_type_map=%7B%2210202209567024712%22%3A%22og.likes%22%7D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D

Abusers are only afraid of losing control, if you get up, they fall

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I, like many others, have a burning desire to DO something for the world, and I try to do my part every day at work. The last couple of years I have also been reading many books about issues related to the world today, and watched world kindnessrandondocumentaries and movies that also inspired me. After some time, excitement rose as I understood how ideas, psychology and internet have the potential to accomplish things we could not before. Some people say it`s too many bad things out there, we can`t do anything, anyway. I simply believe that is not true. Those words are uttered by bullies not affected by people starving and losing their jobs, as long as they can fly their jets, live in mansions and wear expensive suits.

From working with traumatized people, some of the most lovely persons I`ve ever met, and feeling the unfairness of people USING their kindness and warmth against them, making them feel bad and unworthy, when in reality the roles could have been reversed. Also reading about how psychopaths can climb to high positions in the society EXACTLY because they don`t fear stepping at toes (Watch the documentary I am Fishead for more on this) scares me even more. But, remembering that just 1 – 2 % of the populations truly have no conscious (still the number is so high that we all will encounter one of them quite often. The staggering number is still big when you think about how many people inhabit this planet. Some have even noticed that capitalism is as built for psychopaths, what do they care if Greece goes bankrupt as long as they get their cash and power?

All this made me realize: People trying to make the world worse, will always be a challenge, but they will NOT accomplish this if others protest. The internet makes this possible, and by spreading an attitude of compassion, we can work against this tendency. In his book, “Defense Against the Psychopath,” author Stefan Verstappen outlines the greatest and stealthiest danger in the human jungle. Leaders throughout history – the people we vote for – are rarely moral leaders. For them, lying is as easy and natural as breathing. It is completely unnerving and rattling to face the fact that someone can have absolutely no empathy. This realization is so frightening, most would rather go heavily into denial and fantasize that our helping them succeed is a good thing.

“Because of the tremendous destruction psychopaths reap on society, it is vital for everyone to be aware of their existence and to recognize their behavior traits. Understanding them is the first step to defending oneself against them.”

Peace one day want to make one day a year, a “peace day”, and what about a “kindness day” ? Philip Zimbardo, one of the greatest scientists, have introduced Heroic Imagination Project where he encourage people to take heroic act. Do you 142577dfa7c5e25cfaa3466d2bcf5354know that often it is enough that ONE person protest, for others to join in? In fact, they found that the Milgram Experiment of obedience (where you must deliver shock to others) the willingness to do what they “felt” was not right, went down if they “by coincidence” saw somebody else say no. This means: It helps to follow your heart, when something is not “quite right” even if authority tell you something else. Some do anyway, because they trust their gut-feeling enough to do what feels right, but most people look at what others do (cognitive heuristics) because it is easier.

So, if somebody else does kind things for others, would you not want to, also? If your best friend always smiled at strangers, would it not be easier for you also?

But you need energy, to be there for others. For that reason: Take care of your own needs first! Many feel egoistic if they do, but it`s actually the other way around. By not taking care of yourself, you neglect the energy and happiness necessary for giving others what they need. If an oxygen mask fall down, take your own mask first. Not because you don`t care about your children, but because then you are more able to help others, afterwards.

Read more:

http://www.5minutesformom.com/67453/world-kindness-day-be-kind-every-day/

https://forfreepsychology.wordpress.com/lets-change-the-world/project-validation/

Capitalism: A System Run By and For Psychopaths

http://agranstrom.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/the-pros-to-being-a-psychopath

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/may/19/entertainment/la-et-book-20110519

Psychopaths run the world

http://peaceoneday.org/resources/

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/oct/07/wisdom-of-psychopaths-kevin-dutton-review

http://drawaphy.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/psychopaths/

Fight for yourself

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2d2d4a0b12fdae4794c80dae84e568a1Listening To Psychopathic Externals, Is Hazardous To Your Health

21 Aug 2013 4 Comments

by theabilitytolove in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , ,

      I realized that I’ve had a hell of a lot of invalidation lately. Medically, emotionally, and with my disability claim, and others in my life.  What this does to me, combined with my pathological family dynamics and emphasis on wealth and success as a definition of self, which bleeds into my type A personality, is that I’ve integrated and internalized these beliefs and external voices of “you can, don’t say you can’t!” so much that I’m over compensating leading to decompensation, if that makes sense. I’m a very sick chica right now.

I realized I don’t have a problem validating me or my pain or my illnesses , even my PTSD. Other people do. From my doctors to some people who write to me, and all in between. It has been massively frustrating to me and these voices appeal to my type A, so I’ve pushed myself, quite literally, to death’s door from the stress of it all. That is my doing completely.

“you’re not doing enough”, “Stop saying you ‘can’t”, “it’s fibromyalgia not your sciatica”, “you’re just using excuses because of your abuse”, “why do you let ‘him’ bother you so much?”, ‘well, if you’d stop saying you can’t maybe you COULD’. and many, many more examples of invalidation…

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it can be hard when everybody tries to tell you how to live!

And I hear and listen, DENY that it’s ‘that bad’, then push harder and harder. I’ve been pontificating like a FOOL on this blog in absorbing all of those messages. I have had countless emails from others with chronic illness, just as bad and/or worse than mine, telling me how they did this or did that and are WELL again. “It was yoga that did it for me!” , “I just decided one day that I was just going to BELIEVE in myself!”, “You know, you have beautiful gifts and you could make a lot of money from that if you were willing to do workshops, webinars, skype and phone” (Just hearing this makes me want to head to the ER from the stress). . . I think you get the picture. . .

I’ve also been told that I lay out too many sob stories on my blog in sharing what I’mg going through. I’ve also been told that my writing can get me targeted by others. I’ve been told a hundred million things that I listen too about my writing, how I write, what I write, and yet I get emails often that say, “I’ve never seen a blog like yours, it’s so real and it has helped me so much to heal”. So whose right here? Where is “ME” in all of this?

I have around twenty people that I’ve been mentoring steadily, with my email requests much higher. Without disability, I have nothing to live on and my appearances, due to these voices and my listening to it, are contradictory. “you’re not really disabled”, internalizedis, “You’re right, I’m not so I’ll push harder” It’s combined with ‘You’re a failure and you’ll never commit anything!”, which kicks the Type A in me into gear, leaving others in the dust, riding the pathological Indy 500 of self sabotage, terror and chasing a faulty success that will NEVER happen. When I listen, when I ride that pathological wave of voices, I lose my own and I get sick. Really sick. Do those pathological voices CARE if I get sick? Nope. It’s up to ME to listen to ME. Epic fail this last time. EPIC.

Over the last year, just writing, along with a few survivors that I’ve been mentoring, with security in even a tiny income to pay my bills, I’ve been the happiest and most peaceful I’ve ever been, until it stopped and I shifted into fear. Fear is when I listen to externals most and me less. 

I’ve been able to monitor myself, take care of my health because I was LISTENING TO ME and understood clearly, my limitations. This bullshit society about how you gotta just forget your shit and get on it, may mean someone could die from that. I’m one of those people. I am not you, I am me. I CAN’T do what you do, I can only do what I can do.

Saying I have limitations is a fancier form of ‘I can’t’. Maybe I’ll use that term from now on, as it seems more socially acceptable. What an extremely pathological society we live in. The emphasis is always the bottom line: MONEY AND IMAGE.

I’m very angry at myself for this, pissed off at the invalidation. I’m sick of it. Sick to death of it. And I’ll be IGNORING someone who writes to me or talks to me, no matter WHO it is, and tells me that I need to ‘buck up”  and that I’m not doing ‘enough’ in some way, when in reality, not listening to myself and instead, the voice of a very pathological society, is killing me. I’ve listened so much, I don’t even KNOW what I want anymore, let alone what to do about it. . .it feels like a big ball of cognitive dissonance, not unlike the experiences I’ve had with all of my psychopaths. It’s INSANE.

Then when I get to point the of stability and more thought about this, I’ll write a post about it, as I think there are some very big knots to untie here, within myself and with my past that might in turn, be helpful to others. Invalidation and my integrating and internalizing those messages, has been incredibly detrimental to me and has led to all kinds of confusion and pain, and I have a feeling that a lot of it has been quite unnecessary. For those of us who grew up in pathological homes, internalizing pathological voices is automatic pilot. It is a lot of work to overcome it. Clearly, I have more work to do on this.

I can write. There’s my gift. I can mentor a few survivors, there’s my gift.

But to do more than that, creates hell in my body and in my mind that I can’t control.

So when I go to Voc Rehab tomorrow, I will be VERY CLEAR as to my limitations, like I will commit far more to doing with everyone else from now on.

Not listening to yourself comes with a very high price and externals are extremely convincing when you come from a pathological home. I don’t know that it is something that is ‘cured’ but more something, like everything else, that is simply managed and I think therein, lies the gray area I’ve been working so hard to see.

Onward and upward.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201305/12-tips-12-years-sick

The vendictive narcissist

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Narcissism has many faces.

The following post explores the darker sides of narcissism/psychopathy. This post might trigger reactions in people who have been abused or are in vulnerable positions right now. Feedback is most welcome, and if someone have opinions, we are available on mail (forfreepsychology@gmail.com)

Nina, clinical psychologist

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The Vindictive Narcissist

In recent weeks, both within my practice and through emails from site visitors (all women), I’ve heard about several men who have tried to destroy the reputation of their ex-wives with a ruthless and quite thorough assault on their public characters. These men have told lies to friends and family members, attempted to blackmail their former spouses by threatening to spread vicious lies about them, stolen money from them, tried to turn children against their mothers, become explosively angry, even physically violent when challenged, and have uniformly laid blame for the failure of the marriage at the feet of the ex-wife. I’ve also heard from a couple of men confronting vengeful and narcissistic women in their lives, but with nowhere near the level of vindictiveness displayed by these narcissistic ex-husbands.7c46a3fbc5f98fc62faf824c7da3741aThe viciousness can be quite subtle and sometimes invisible to those who don’t know the man well. For instance, the ex-husband of one of my clients sent a very reasonable sounding email to selected members of their church, including the pastoral counselors who’d tried to help them salvage their marriage, portraying himself as a man of God abandoned by his wife, and then directly impugning her mental sanity while planting doubts about her fitness as a mother. She is, in fact, a quite devoted and capable mother while he consistently manipulates their children with gifts to enlist sympathy on his side (but will also dump them on their mother during his custodial days whenever he happens to have a date).

They seldom come to therapy.

The word I use to describe them is reptilian: they seem so cold-blooded, without any genuine feeling for other people, and their desire to inflict pain or even destroy their former spouses seems inhuman, snake-like. At the same time, I feel that I do understand their psychology and what drives them. As a follow-up to my last post, I thought I’d provide a psychological portrait of the vindictive narcissist, making use of the concepts of projection, shame according to my particular views and narcissistic defenses against it.

In that prior post, I discussed what I’ve called the “law of false attribution,” or an in-built human tendency to believe that whenever we experience pain, an outside agent (some other person) has caused us to feel it. For the vindictive narcissist, the subject pain is a profound and quite literally unbearable sense of shame. He has so thoroughly defended against this shame (the felt knowledge of internal defect) that he has no conscious awareness of it. He has constructed an idealized and false self-image as a protection against it, a kind of fortress behind which he conceals his shame, and will defend that self-image with every weapon in his arsenal. When a wife decides to leave a marriage, the narcissistic husband experiences it as a kind of attack (according to the law of false attribution): her rejection threatens to put him into contact with all the shame he can’t bear to feel, and so he must instantly turn against her. If he can’t literally destroy her, as some wounded narcissists have done, he will attempt to annihilate her character. Like the husband of my client, he will try to turn everyone they know against his ex-wife, painting himself as a martyr.

imageThe degree of viciousness and the unrelenting pursuit of revenge point to a truly toxic level of shame. It’s so unbearable that these men must instantly respond with a counter-assault to any person threatening to stir it up. All insults or wounds to his pride will be felt as an attack and provoke the usual blaming and contemptuous defenses; but the public humiliation they experience when their wives ask for a divorce is a narcissistic injury so profound it provokes a retaliatory strike of nuclear proportions. Most people who go through divorce feel some degree of shame, some sense of failure, but the vindictive narcissist feels it a thousand-fold. That pain is felt as an attack, calling forth an all-out counter-assault meant to annihilate the threat to his fragile self-esteem.

anxiousIf you’ve ever felt hurt or humiliated by someone you know and then entertained fantasies of revenge, imagining that you would show that person up or triumph over him, then you’ll understand (to a degree) what the vindictive narcissist experiences. Unlike you and me, however, he can’t tolerate such painful humiliation, not even for a second, and revenge fantasies are not enough. He experiences the continuing reality of a woman who rejected him as a continual threat, a constant assault upon his ideal self-image; as a result, his defenses remain on continual alert against it. At the least provocation — that is, whenever shame threatens to emerge — he will viciously strike out, like a snake assaulting its prey.

Iimagen comments to my post about narcissistic mothers, many site visitors have described similar assaults by their own mothers. Vindictive narcissists are not limited to vengeful ex-husbands. Since such people have almost no interest in or capacity for change, the best you can do is stay clear of them, just the way you’d avoid a snake if it happened to cross your path. Unfortunately, some narcissists can also be quite charming, having learned how to manipulate people to evoke their desire and sympathy; as children, we can’t escape our narcissistic mothers until we’re grown. When escape is impossible in life, perhaps the most you can do is set very firm limits and try not to inflict unnecessary narcissistic injuries upon them. It will only come back to haunt you.

UPDATE: May 23, 2013

Inspired by reader comments to my posts about narcissistic mothers and vindictive narcissists, I’ve released a new eBook on the Kindle platform. It’s a novella-length retelling of the classic Cinderella story, focusing on my usual themes of shame and narcissism, with a look at the tumultuous emotions behind self-injury

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How to spot disorder: Is your ego being inflated?

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How To Spot Disorder: Is Your Ego Being Inflated? Run.

16AUG201310 Comments

by theabilitytolove in Uncategorized Tags: ,

     I pontificate a lot about a ‘genuine’ recovery. I’ve gone into what that means. So I’m going into this a little more because I experienced an attempt by a disordered one trying to infiltrate with their little tentacles out, ready to claw into my soul. NOPE. Not going there.

The reason that a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist is able to get into your life and down your pants so fast to seal the deal is ego inflation. Who doesn’t like to be told that they’re wonderful, right?
imageI think we make ‘nice’ of the reasons our disordered ones were allowed into our lives and I see this when page admins ‘lure’ survivors, when describing what happened: “He exploited all of your GOOD qualities! Bastard! He saw all the GOOD in you and that’s why you were targeted! Yes, he took all of those GOOD things about you, your POOR THING and exploited them for his OWN benefit!” I’m exaggerating this of course, but it’s irritating when I see it. It’s also questionable because it doesn’t feel honest to me.

Recovery is the greatest opportunity you will ever have in getting to know yourself, warts and all.

Well, what they say is only half true. He took your ‘good’ qualities and elevated it to rock star status. Healthy people do not need this kind of ego stroking and healthy people do not need to ego stroke in this way either.

imageAny abuser, whether it’s a disordered one or not, knows that you’re probably not going to date him if he’s throwing you up against walls and down stairs, or twisting your arm, or devaluing you and calling you names, right?

That’s only logical, but with a disordered one, they study you, they do it through Google searches, your face book page, and they will even create fake profiles and message your friends, claiming to be an old friend of the past and that they want to surprise you but need a little more info, and of course, friends willingly do this without exercising any caution on your behalf with privacy. They are really good at getting information on you, your friends and out of you, with all of that ego boosting, you fill in all the blanks.

So he takes all of this and gets out his ego inflating machine and turns on the air attached to your ego…pump, pump. pump. . . and soon enough, there is enough air in that ego that you’re literally swooning. This is how the disordered creates the mirroring that you’re experiencing, that intense high. It is unrealistic and it is dangerous because NO ONE is that special.

But this is also something that you need to be mindful of in recovery. It’s been really interesting talking to women who are emotionally healthy in ego. What I’ve found consistently with all of them, is that not only do they have a healthy self esteem (ego) but they are also highly aware of their darker sides, their vulnerabilities, so when they’ve experienced targeting in their dating lives, they are able to see the disordered one readily because the over the top flattery and ego inflation looks completely ridiculous to them. They recognize it for what it is,extreme manipulation through ego boosting. It is incredibly distorted and that’s because IT IS.

imageSurvivors can become very defensive about this and it’s frustrating to me when working with them too. I give clear examples of what it means to look at yourself completely, with a great deal of humility and transparency in recovery. It is UNPLEASANT, but ironically, looking at the behaviors, attitudes, poor self esteem, low/no boundaries, mistakes, choices, SETS YOU FREE TO EMBRACE YOUR HUMANITY, and this will be the very thing that will protect you against  targeting from anyone in the future. It keeps your feet on the ground and centered securely in reality, because the psychopath’s love bombing is anything but that, it is fantasy.

The individual love bombing me, was of course, appealing to my ‘great writing’! It’s always nice to be appreciated for the work I do. Sometimes I feel down because it doesn’t feel appreciated so much, but that’s an area of LOW self esteem and not valuing myself.

We all have a human desire to be appreciated for our gifts and who we are. This IS natural and it’s perfectly okay too. I let my friends know often, that they are special to me, and that their friendships or  personal gifts mean a lot to me. A compliment or appreciation given when taken in context and combining the WHOLE person, someone you know well, can really make someone’s day brighter, especially if they’re having a rough time. This is the good stuff.

But when someone is ego inflating me, putting me into ‘rock star’ status with my writing, and continuing on with what a great person I am,  I know I’m being fed bullshit. There are times when I’m asked questions, where the questions in and of themselves are an attempt to inflate my ego with my knowledge about the disorders. At other times, I’m offered other ‘gifts’ that are clearly an attempt to exploit.

I know that my writing is ‘okay’, but I’m no Ernest Hemingway, or Claudia Moscovici! I’m realistic about it, with a level of humility when it comes to my work, where I strive for balance and this helps me to recognize ‘rock star’ status immediately and to ignore it.

At the same time, there are survivors who write to me and tell me that the blog has literally saved their lives with the information they’ve read here. I don’t see that as ‘love bombing’. When someone is grateful to you for your giving to others,it is not the same as the disordered one holding the ego inflater pump. As with everything else when discussing pathological people, it is in the EXTREME. There is a balance. Again, compliments are really nice, but flattery is a major red flag.

I think this part of recovery in acknowledging that the psychopath was allowed into our lives is hard, not because we felt good about ourselves or that our good qualities were exploited, but because we didn’t feel good about ourselves, we didn’t have healthy boundaries and we weren’t aware of our darker sides or vulnerabilities. I know this stuff is incredibly difficult to come to terms with because it already feels like such an injustice with all the pain we are feeling and with what the psychopath appeared to have ‘gotten away with’. It’s hard to admit that in reality, we were duped.

I’m not responsible for any of my psychopaths abuse. But I am responsible now for working on myself genuinely and deeply, so that this never, ever happens to me again and I know how to respond when I’m targeted.

The most dangerous phase of any relationship with a psychopath is the love bombing stage. It is the stage filled with the most deceit, the most ego inflation. This stage is critical to any disordered one approaching you, and the idea is to completely destroy you. Your future destruction by a disordered one is not going to happen without your willing participation. And THAT is not going to happen unless the psychopath can successfully exploit your low self esteem, boundaries and vulnerabilities and the tendency to FANTASY through ego inflation.

Change in recovery, includes rebuilding from a foundation of authenticity about ourselves. Positive and negative behaviors. Building self esteem, boundaries and most especially self awareness of yourself and your humanity, is what a genuine recovery entails. There is nothing more devastating to create a rock bottom than a strategically destructive psychopath.

The psychopath shows us all the wounds we need to heal.

Ego inflation, in my opinion, is the number one way to spot disorder. If you see this, don’t doubt. RUN.

Onward and upward.

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Thoughts from a female psychopath

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The original text can be found on the blog “Dating a psychopath”
This is the personal thoughts from someone believing that she is a psychopaths. This is not a diagnostic case, so the owner of this blog can not guarantee this represent the whole truth.
http://datingasociopath.com/2013/07/17/thoughts-written-by-a-female-sociopath/ 

From the blog:

I thought that I would raise this as a separate post. I know that a lot of male victims of female sociopaths also read this site. I received this comment today on the post of ‘female sociopath’. I thought I would share it here as a post.

Hi Positivegirl, great article.

I myself am a female sociopath and saw a lot of truth in your words but a lot of what you say does not apply to me personally. I will agree that when the game is on the woman has it easier but when society clicks on it is a lot more difficult to get around the problem because it is all the more shocking when it is a woman. People are a lot less forgiving of us when we do get caught.

I have no interest in finding a man to take care of me and give me money, I can do these things for myself whilst giving the impression that I am a moral person that is not a user. I find going to work so much easier than the housewife role, I detest being in that situation.

I will sheepishly look at the floor if anyone asks about the relationship to manipulate people into thinking I am a victim whist at the same time refusing to accept if someone tries to buy me a drink. My favorite impimageession to give is strong woman, confused.

What I look for in a man is excitement and adoration. I like them to be like lapdogs. I want to destroy all aspects of their life so that I am all that’s left and the centre of their world.

I don’t like them leading their own lives. I will engineer situations until I am entirely in control and then spend all of my time paranoid that they will tell someone that can see me for who I really am.

I am violent and volatile, but only behind closed doors. I enjoy watching men cry because they do not understand what is happening. I like watching them flinch if a good looking woman comes on the tely and smile all the more if they know I would do her too. I do have a very high sex drive but hide it well from society because, again, I want to give an impression of being normal.

I am a sexual predator. I am guilty of drugging men that act as if they might say no and pressuring them… I don’t like taking no for an answer. I love it all the more if they are unexperienced and I can be the teacher. Nerds are the best, always grateful for taking their virginity and oblivious to what’s going on. Don’t get me wrong, dangerous men are my favorite thrill, I love when they think they are in control.

I like women too but am just a little too afraid of that female intuition that would get in the way of my plans. I have seen the film Monster (good to watch if you are interested in female sociopaths) and know that could have been me if I had just a little less fear of the law.

I cannot bear responsibilities. Outside of the house I will conform and do a good job at my employment but it is just for impression management. I detest housework, children, compromise… All the things that are expected from a good little woman.

The funny thing is women are always telling me that they wish their son would get a nice good girl like me and even try to set me up with them. It might be my big blue eyes and long lashes.

I imageam a home wrecker. If a woman sees me for what I am or is a threat in anyway I will make it my plan to sleep with her husband. Even a small offence like getting too close to me or wanting to spend time with me can have repercussions if it is not what I want.

I do not regret many of the things I have done but I regret that I am this way. I envy your empathy. I would give up all of my thrills to be the sort of person that can relax with no mask. I am just a shell. >>>>>> A shell with a pretty exterior and no chance of ever changing. <<<<<< Thank you for the break from pretense, and guys, I hope this helps you to ruin the plans of my fellow female socios.