This is part two with ideas on HOW to help others. Remember, you don`t have to do big things that take much effort and time, it is just as well to do small things like calling someone or smile to a stranger. Science actually show that when someone else smiles, our brain will automatically respond to this by smiling in return, actually making the new smiler feel better!
Research has shown that smiling and laughing cause physiological changes in your body. “When a person has a true, heartfelt smile, it does more than put her in touch with her own inner joy,” says Doe Lang, PhD, a New York City psychotherapist who specializes in nonverbal communication. “There’s a reduction in cortisol, a chemical that indicates stress in the body, and an increase in mood-elevating endorphins.
A new smiley app has been launched: #smilesfilm app, with the ambitious, crazy, and awesome goal of collecting every smile in the world. Happily, the smilesfilm website shows everyone who’s uploaded a smile (and you can see where they’re from on the interactive world map). It’s like a trip around the world and an instant pick-me-up all in one. Convenient. Smile.
- Find a role model. (http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Better-Person)Role models are a great source of inspiration, and their stories can make us feel strong when times get tough.
- Your role model might be your favorite singer, artist, politician, television personality, philosopher, religious figure, and so on. Your role model may be from thousands of years ago, or someone from now.
- Once you have found a role model, read one of his or her books or biographies. Learning about this person’s educational background, family life, and personal struggles will prepare you for the road ahead. And pay it forward, like this: Paying It Forward………………………………………………. ………………………. …………………………………………………………………………………………………I wait tables, and I once served two women whose credit cards were declined and who had enough cash for the meal but not for a tip. I told them not to worry; we’ve all been there. Ten minutes later, another diner left, and I picked up the payment and a generous tip. With the cash were 10 extra dollars and an unsigned note saying, “I appreciate how kind and gracious you were to those women…. Yes, we have all been there.”
- Choose somebody whose story you can relate to, like a rags-to-riches entrepreneur, a great author or a person who sailed around the world solo. Find experiences others have had that resonate with your hopes and dreams.
Practice random acts of kindness every day. This could be as small an act as helping an elderly person carry groceries to their car, or giving somebody the right of way when driving. The more you do this, the more you will realize how gratifying it feels to help others, which will ultimately help you overcome selfishness.
Be a better friend to your friends. I used to be disappointed at how some of my friends aren’t always there for me when I need them, then I realized that I should think about how I can be a better friend to my friends first before making such expectations of others
Donate something you don’t use. Or a whole box of somethings. Drop them off at a charity — others can put your clutter to good use (http://zenhabits.net/25-ways-to-help-a-fellow-human-being-today).
– Follow your inner standards (and two stories)
THE PASSPORT OFFICIAL
I am still enormously grateful to my good Samaritan”
I received a telegram from India informing me that my mother had died suddenly in March 1967. I was 22 years old and had lost my father two years earlier.
My husband and I were desperate to fly to Bombay and find out what had happened, as my mother had been healthy and well when she left England only a few days prior to her death.
We tried to get airline tickets only to find that Julia, my baby, wasn’t on anyone’s passport. It meant we couldn’t take her.
I was desperate to go but couldn’t leave the baby behind. I phoned the Foreign Office and got through to an official who was sympathetic but explained it was the weekend and nothing could be done until Monday.
I begged him to help me and, to my astonishment, he agreed to help me.
We rendezvoused at Heathrow airport and he put a stamp in my passport, making Julia legal.
I hardly thanked him, I was still crying so hard. But this kind man had given me his weekend time and possibly bent the rules to help.
I am still enormously grateful to my Good Samaritan.
Catherine Teltscher, London
THE MYSTERY DRIVER
The helping hands of strangers are still remembered decades later
My father parked the car at the top of a steep hill when I was about six years old and walked down to a pub. I was in the passenger seat alone, before seatbelts existed. The car started rolling down the hill towards the pub, a main road and a huge wall, picking up speed.
I expected to be killed.
Miraculously, a man leapt from a vehicle into my dad’s car and managed to stop it at the bottom off the hill, just a few inches from the wall. Dad didn’t return until he was drunk, as usual, by which time the man had taken me home, but no-one was in.
I always wondered who that man was who saved my life, then disappeared, 57 years ago.
Do something kind for those closest to you. Give your housemate a hug in the morning, for no reason. Help your mother, brother, father, or sister with something that they would not expect you to do. Leave a flower in your brother or sister’s room. Spend some time with your grandparents. Make breakfast for your partner. Call your parents just to say ‘Hello’.
- Redirect gifts. Instead of having people give you birthday or Christmas gifts, ask them to donate gifts or money to a certain charity.
- Stop to help. The next time you see someone pulled over with a flat tire, or somehow in need of help, stop and ask how you can help. Sometimes all they need is a push, or the use of your cell phone. And a story for inspiration:
THE SILENT WITNESSContinue reading the main story
We stood there open-mouthed and stunned with gratitude”
One cold Sunday morning in 1965, when I was a theological student in Leeds and preaching 30 miles north of my college, my fiancee and I were travelling on my Honda 90. We were inadequately attired for a particularly cold morning. Somewhere up the A1 the bike ran out of petrol.
We stood at the side of road shaking with cold and not sure what to do.
Suddenly a passing car stopped just past us. The driver got out, popped his boot, took out a gallon can of petrol and poured it in my tank without saying a single word. He put the tank back in his boot and drove off.
We stood there open-mouthed and stunned with gratitude. To this day we’re tempted to think it was an angel. John Tindall, Birmingham …………………………………………………………………………………………..…
- Teach. Take the time to teach someone a skill you know. This could be teaching your grandma to use email, teaching your child to ride a bike, teaching your co-worker a valuable computer skill, teaching your spouse how to clean the darn toilet. OK, that last one doesn’t count.
- Do a chore. Something small or big, like cleaning up or washing a car or doing the dishes or cutting a lawn.
- Give a massage. Only when appropriate of course. But a massage can go a long way to making someone feel better.
- Send a nice email. Just a quick note telling someone how much you appreciate them, or how proud you are of them, or just saying thank you for something they did.
- Create a care package. Soup, reading material, tea, chocolate … anything you think the person might need or enjoy. Good for someone who is sick or otherwise in need of a pick-me-up.
- Out of the blue, send flowers to a friend.
- Bring your assistant coffee.
Raise your voice. Often the powerless, the homeless, the neglected in our world need someone to speak up for them. You don’t have to take on that cause by yourself, but join others in signing a petition, speaking up a a council meeting, writing letters, and otherwise making a need heard.
- Offer to babysit. Sometimes parents need a break. If a friend or other loved one in your life doesn’t get that chance very often, call them and offer to babysit sometime. Set up an appointment. It can make a big difference.
- Love. Simply finding ways to express your love to others, whether it be your partner, child, other family member, friend, co-worker, or a complete stranger … just express your love. A hug, a kind word, spending time, showing little kindnesses, being friendly … it all matters more than you know. http://www.buzzfeed.com/txblacklabel/true-love-in-pictures-only-28m7?sub=1774427_587191
When I was in college, my grandmother died. One day two casual acquaintances saw me crying, and without asking what was wrong, they invited me out to lunch. Not only did they cheer me up but I also came away with two good friends.
Hoboken, New Jersey
One Saturday afternoon when I was very pregnant, my husband and I were searching for a table in a congested mall food court. A woman approached us, said that she remembered how good it felt to be offered a seat when she was pregnant, and directed us toward a table that her children were saving for us.
I was starting my own business, and someone I barely knew offered to distribute flyers to his entire real estate firm to help me get exposure. I received a great response, and I have him to thank for my successful start.
Alyssa Taylor. Minneapolis, Minnesota