Tag Archives: Question

Greatest Fears and Desires

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I once heard a quote that our greatest desire is also our greatest fear.

What do yo think? Universally and personally? Do you agree?

What is your greatest fear? Have you searched inside your heart deep enough to find out?

I hear lots of people saying their greatest fear is loneliness or losing loved ones. I can see how they are huge fears, but they’ve never really resonated with me.

I’ve always thought my greatest fears were along the lines of rejection, judgment, and failure.

But If I go even deeper, I think my greatest fear is not doing what I was meant to do on this earth.

And that is my greatest desire – to do what I was made to do. No matter how scary or hard. No matter how many times I may fail.

Of course, I think there are many things we’re all meant to do, but I hope I don’t miss the key ones.

And I believe the things we’re meant to do are for others because I believe we’re here for others. Sure, there’s other things, but if we don’t do anything for others, what’s the point?

Was that deep enough? Haha!

So, what is your greatest fear and what is your greatest desire? Dig deep. Are they the same thing?

And once you face your greatest fear and desire, what are you going to about them?

What is Your Most Important Question?

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When I was in high school, I learned a new concept about how students can approach an assignment. I found the concept could be applied more broadly to how people approach life. As with any principle it can be taken too far, but I find the generalizations helpful.

It’s based on the idea that when faced with an assignment, students will ask one of three questions first: what, why or how.

  • ‘What’ people ask, “What do I need to do for this assignment?”
  • ‘Why’ people ask, “Why do I need to do this assignment?
  • ‘How’ people ask, “How do I need to do this assignment?”

The idea is that students will eventually ask all three questions but one will be more important to them than the others. They will then ask the second most important question followed by the least important. The degree of importance may vary between people so two questions may be very important to one person while to another only one question really matters.

This of course can be applied to many things in life, not just assignments.

I’m a ‘what’ person

Back in high school I identified myself as a ‘what’ person. If I was to get an assignment the first thing I would ask is, “What is it about?” not “Why do I have to it?” or “How do get it done?” This matches up with how I am in general as I’ll ask questions like, “What are you talking about?” and “What are you trying to say?” I also have a bit of a motto: “Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
Clearly I’m a ‘what’ person. In my mind you need to know what you’re dealing with before you can make a decision about it. Only when I know what will I care about asking why or how because if there’s no ‘what’, why and how don’t matter.

Having said this, ‘why’ is very important to me. Even if I know the ‘what,’ if I don’t have a sufficient ‘why,’ I won’t do it or care about it. In this way, ‘why’ becomes more important than the ‘what.’

‘How’ doesn’t register very highly with me at all so much so that it seems foreign to me. The closest way I could get to understanding it was to think of a ‘how’ person. I think of ‘how’ people as fix-it types. They enjoy taking things apart and putting them back together to see how things work.

Know your question

Once you know which category you belong to, I think you can avoid frustration that comes from not having enough information to satisfy the question you ask first.
For example, the first thing I did when I started my new job as a children’s coordinator was gather information about what was working and what needed improvement. The first question a ‘how’ person might ask is, “How should I lead my team?” or “How do I implement a new program?’ A ‘why’ person might first ask, “Why was I brought into this position?” or “Why did I accept this job?” Each person will eventually ask all of these questions but not until our most important question is answered.

There isn’t a wrong approach; all the questions are important, people just work differently. If I was getting a lot of answers about how to lead before I knew what I was dealing with, I would feel exasperated. Even though I know the information is valuable, I wouldn’t be able take it in until I’ve answered my most important question- I’m not going to know how to lead unless I know what I’m leading. Yet a ‘how’ person will think- it doesn’t matter what I’m leading if I don’t know how to lead it.

Regardless of what questions are important to us, we all ask questions.

I believe you should know the way you work and then work with it. Go out and find the answers to your most important question then you will be free to ask the next question.

What is your most important question?