Tag Archives: Goldilocks & The 3 Bears

Dynamic Opposites

Girl with grandfather

Girl with grandfather

When I was a young girl, my grandfather and I would go for long walks together. He was a tremendous influence in my life and came from a time when intelligence defined how far a man (or a woman) got in life. Those walks were a major part of my education and they most definitely molded many of my life-long philosophies.
Perhaps one of the most memorable life-lessons my grandfather spoke about during our time walking together was also one of the simplest of concepts. As if it were just yesterday, I remember him telling me that both, too much and too little of something made it no good. Everything , even something that starts out good, can become something hurtful, he explained, when it dwells in extremes.

I didn’t understand it then, but I have lived long enough to understand it now. Finding the balance in things is critical to a happy, healthy, successful life. Everything, including people and all their components, have polar ends. But they also have a center, a place where both of those two extremes are no longer opposing each other or pulling in opposite directions. The center, the neutral point of any two oppositional forces is the place we store our most valuable resources.
Try this simple exercise to serve as an example. Clench your right hand into a tight fist. Then release it. Now do the same with your left hand and release. You have just put fairly equal pressure or tension on both sides of your body, first your right and then your left. But as soon as you complete the action, your body restores itself to balance, and you feel better; centered and more relaxed.

Too Hot - Too Cold

Too Hot – Too Cold

Goldilocks understood this concept perfectly when she rejected both the Pappa bear’s cereal because it was too hot and the Mamma bear’s cereal because it was too cold. She continued her state of discomfort until she continued onto the Baby bear’s bowl of cereal which was ‘just right’ for her. Neither extreme of hot nor cold suited her. And as we all know the rest of the story, she repeated this process again to find her level of comfort for sitting on chairs and finally for being able to rest and fall asleep.

Although we have much in common with each other as human’s we also all have very unique and individual components that make us exactly who we are and each one of us has our own exact location for balance within us. Mine is not where yours is, yours is not where Goldilocks’ is and that is a wonderful thing because it affirms our individuality.

And, our own personal sense of balance is not ever exactly the same in any given moment. Life is dynamic, not static. Energy is dynamic. And because of that, all our components are constantly in motion, changing. So, our sense of balance in one situation shifts when we are in a different situation during the same day. Also, the very same situation at one time, can cause a shift of balance in us the next time we come across the exact same situation.

Dynamics of Life

Dynamics of Life

The key is to understand and accept this dynamic and make a habit of ‘checking in and fine-tuning’ ourselves so that we identify where we are internally on the opposite – balance – opposite spectrum. The more we connect with our perfect sense of center and balance, the more energy, happiness, healthfulness, mindfulness and performance we develop for ourselves.

I had the opportunity to speak with a fascinating man yesterday, and hear what he had to say about all of this. He explained his ideas about how this balance, this center and putting space between our opposites can eliminate the tension and stress from our nervous systems and grant us well-being.

If you drink a cup of caffeine in the morning, it is nothing that can harm you in any way, he stated, if you also partake in having a glass of wine in evening – the stimulant in the coffee in your body is brought back down by the calming effects of the alcohol in the wine and you have returned your system to its pure balance.
This fascinated me and I hope you too. More to come on it all very soon.

Judy is a licensed clinical social worker and has worked extensively as a counselor with children, adolescents, couples and families. Judy’s professional experience in the mental health field along with her love of writing, provide insight into real-life experiences and relationships. Her fresh voice and down-to-earth approach to living a happier, more meaningful life are easy to understand and just as easy to start implementing right away for positive results!

Finding “Just Right”

Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell

I do not truly believe that it is a good thing that our society highly rewards people who are rude or so direct as to ignore the way they make people feel.

If I’ve lost you, this statement is a follow-up to yesterday’s post. Briefly, in it I pointed out how handsomely rewarded some high-profile celebrities are and how they’ve gained their extreme popularity and financial success by stepping over the line of honest and direct into inconsideration and becoming hurtful of people’s feelings.

I truly don’t understand why there are any of us who respect this type of behavior – even if it is sold to us in the name of ‘honesty’ and ‘being direct.’

Howard Stern

Howard Stern

Does it not speak to how fed up we, as a society, might be of all the ‘political correctness’ we had shoved down our throats in years gone by?

When I was a young girl, my maternal grandfather, one of the people who I was closest to in my life and who, to this day, I regard as one of the wisest people I’ve ever known, told me that it was written somewhere significant (most likely in scriptures somewhere,) that too much of anything is not good.

The point of his story (and there always was a point to the stories he shared with me on those long walks we took,) was that in order to live a healthy life, we need to find balance – and in this case, balance means not too much or too little of anything.

If the familial, scripture-like version of this moral doesn’t sit well with you, then le’ts go for the more creative, Fairy Tale perspective.

The 3 Bears

The 3 Bears

When Goldilocks fell across the home of the 3 Bears, deep in the forest one day, she encountered an empty home filled with furnishings and dietary pleasures that the family of bears enjoyed.

In her quest for tranquility, she ate the porridge that was “just right,” avoiding both the one that was too hot and the one that was too cold. She declined rocking in the huge chair that was too big and high. She turned down rocking in the Momma Bear’s chair that was also not to her liking. But she enjoyed the Baby Bear’s chair that she deemed “just right” so much, she rocked and rocked and rocked until she broke the chair.

Even when it came to time for her to rest her weary eyes after a long day’s worth of rummaging through the home belonging to the 3 Bears, she could not sleep in the bed that was too hard. Nor was she able to find herself comfortable enough to rest in the Momma Bear’s bed that was too soft.

Once again, only in the Baby Bear’s bed, the one that felt “just right,” was Goldilocks able to find peace and serenity and enough comfort to fall asleep.

What we deem as “just right” is more than likely as unique and individual as we are as human beings. But, we all share some degree of where right ends and wrong begins. I feel confident that although we can laugh and even celebrate people who act in ways that are not considered kind and compassionate toward others; we know the difference and understand in our hearts that what we really ought to be celebrating can be found more in the kindness and goodness categories.

If we could only find a way to have society truly reward those who do good things for each other, we could make our world a much better place for us all.


I’m a licensed clinical social worker and have worked extensively as a counselor with children, adolescents, couples and families. I combine professional experience in the mental health field along with my love of writing to provide insight into real-life experiences and relationships. I hope my down-to-earth approach to living a happier, more meaningful life is easy to understand and just as easy to start implementing right away for positive results!