Here’s something I’ve noticed with myself as well as others. We tend to reflect onto others the things we ourselves struggle or deal with. What I mean by this is that we tend to suspect others if we ourselves know that we can’t trust ourselves. It is as if we know that we are likely to behave a certain way – or we have behaved in certain ways in the past, and we tend to believe that other people would do the same thing.
My sister worked for a company whose owners were not the most ethical when it came to dealings in business. They weren’t horrible, but there were times when they made choices that weren’t totally honest and above-board. Since they know this, they assume the people they work with and the people who work for them are the same way. They tend not to trust others, maintaining as much control over them as they can – even too much to certain extents – where people end up leaving their employ because of how unhappy they are with the way they are treated.
It is an interesting thing because many times, people feel alone, as if they are the only one to feel a certain way; yet on the other hand, we also assume something like this, because we feel and do certain things, we let it spill over onto the way we believe other people will be to us. I find the irony of that interesting.
The good news is that positive qualities work the same way as negative qualities. In other words, people who are honest tend to expect honesty from others and don’t start off being suspicious or doubtful. If they are good workers with a dependable work ethic, they anticipate others will provide the same. That is a good thing because many times, we are able to bring qualities out in people by setting the stage for them to act certain ways. We also encourage good behaviors because of the example we set. People don’t like to stand out and be too different, especially when they are around people they work with or want to gain approval from. So, it is more likely they will imitate the behaviors they see modeled for them by others in that environment.
With this as the foundation for formulating behaviors, it is a good idea to take time to look at the types of behaviors and values you stand for and you model to others. Whether in your place of work, in your personal life or in your home for your children, becoming more aware of the picture you project to the outside is a good step in improving your performance as well as that of those around you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Judy is a licensed clinical social worker and has worked extensively as a counselor with children, adolescents, couples and families. Judy’s professional experience in the mental health field along with her love of writing, provide insight into real-life experiences and relationships. Her fresh voice and down-to-earth approach to living a happier, more meaningful life are easy to understand and just as easy to start implementing right away for positive results!